Think I don't know Schitt? Aw, but I do!
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt, a fertilizer magnate, and O. Schitt, co-owner of Knee-Deep 'N Schitt, Inc.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and had seven little Schitts:
Big Schitt
Holie Schitt
The twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt
Giva Schitt
Fulla Schitt
Bull Schitt
After 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock
Big Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his Italian wife, Pisa Schitt and their son, a rather nervous individual named Chicken Schitt.
Holie Schitt, by pure coincidence to her name, joined a radical religious cult but never married.
Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, inseparable as twins usually are, married outside the family, marrying the Happens brothers in a double wedding. The four of them own and operate the world-renowned problem consulting firm known as Schitt-Happens.
Giva Schitt, against her parent's objections, married a cousin named Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. Much to everyone's surprise, the two published a very successful newsletter, called the Schitt List. They had one kid: Baby Schitt.
Fulla Schitt married Lotta Schitt [a first cousin] and operates a hardware store called Good Schitt. They had four little Schitts and, being animal lovers, named them accordingly:
Dawg, Byrd, Horace, and Batt Schitt
Bull Schitt opened and manages a successful restaurant called the Schitt House. He married Loda Schitt and had a daughter, Im Schitt.
Im Schitt, like her twin aunts, broke tradition and married outside the family to Save Faced. Being a liberated woman, she hyphenated her last name to her husband's and is known as Im Schitt-Faced.
So see, I do know Schitt!
[Credit for this goes to unknown internet authors]
